Dear Spirit Suchi Gabrielle,
I thought of everyone I ever loved this morning at sunrise as I wondered if you my friend would ever awaken for one last time… give a look from your eyes, a squeeze from your hands, share spooning naps with your dear beloveds, or cuddle your boys Krishna and Bubblily. I wondered if you heard dear Scott when he whispered in your ear “I love you” even knowing in shock that his parting farewell to this birth might already be too late.
I listened to the waves break on the shore, over and over forever. I watched the darkness give way to the light. I imagined your angelic wings spread and flying toward unending horizon. All efforts, ambitions, anxieties, plans now released, dancing effortlessly to their own completions.
I felt my heart thinking loudly of all the people I love, our time together so brief. I see in my thoughts your face, eyes closed, remembering the vast mist of a meditation, your voice the soft poetry opening my spirit to fly so quietly out of my body, away from my time, immersing my being in the soft never-ending exquisite expansive ineffable effervescence… That place your know so well.
In this one long infinite moment, I gaze backwards in time, recalling the last time we spoke, or wrote, or kissed each other goodbye. Realizing how much I love to hear the soft “v” and round “o” of your German American English as you mouth the words of guided meditation. Reflecting how rarely my own words stop repeating a thought in my head like a song. Remembering how easily silence filled me up when you spoke of the spacious place of grace that lies within, if we’ll just take a moment, and slowly relax, and close our eyes, and deeply… wait for it …breathe… in…out.
Feeling sad I neglected til now my facebook, where you recently shared sweet thoughts in fond rememberance of Osho and Bonger Don. Allan reads this to me as we hold you dear in our prayers. Listening to this awareness of breath, eternity visits as we give space and time.
The many gifts of your beauty and kindness enrich my life in so many ways.
I imagine you radiant in pink and white, smiling into the silence of the great light. Taking a moment to slowly experience an extra awareness of
each person who touched your soul, your family
each promise that offered you courage and hope
each pain that taught you the art of forgiveness
each joy that caused you to smile and laugh
each favorite flavor of sweet, salty, sour, and ripe
each sound of music, voice, string, drum and bell
each flower of nature, and fruit, and seed
each teacher you now embrace and thank.
I have learned much and felt deeply your tender thoughtful ways. Filled we are with light and love. Empty we are of self and time. These gifts have all been given to me because of your teaching. These treasures are fully received, and thank you.