A person is a mystery in a universe unfolding. The time it takes to enter space, explore the grace, win the race, remember all the faces, forgive all of the disgraces, celebrate and leave no traces… well,
T.S. Elliot said it all so well:
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.
And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?
A memory of my parents lingers as I ask myself
why am I alive? Both went to an early grave,
and I have had a nice long life to forgive them
for their mistakes, and also mostly me for mine.
I’ve become accustomed to being a ghost
in the eyes of my long lost sisters
as I have grown invisible
to their children and
But in the words of Dame Maggie Smith about life
long after the death of her beloved husband,
reflecting on the missing love of my unborn children,
reflecting on the unfinished adventures I once started in my youth,
reflecting on the long days and tiny whisps of love from my aging lovers,
feeling the fears of abandonment that deepen my creases and darken my freckles
I wonder sometimes
“What’s the Point?”
Shall I take a moment,
as my friend laments the pain of her grandchild and a brain tumor,
to remember that life is a one way boulevard.
Openings and Opportunities Originate daily.
All that is required is complete surrender
to inevitable challenge and unending struggle.
Each new generation starts a clean slate,
arrives all ready to newly create sacred life,
repeats mama’s prayers and fairy tales
learning to speak much more than listen,
forgets past lives and the very moment
their souls chose this birth and this earth,
blames foolish ancestors and their traditions
for all the woes of a crazy world doing the best she can
tosses away the burdens of history
then reinvents the same illusions,
works hard everyday, chasing dreams and dollars,
diminishes the happiness of childlife in the garden,
learns to defend a spot in the game, to earn some turf, and play to win
until their many important inventions spin the wheel of fortune once again
and show them their prize in the lotto.
Did we do anything to bless the future?
Did we do anything to end some pain?
Did we find a way to fix one broken thing
without breaking another thing, canceling the gain?
What’s left for the next looming window of time?
Is this a world I would want to come back to?
Just sayin! Now reverently, I passionately choose once again
to be happy, helpful, humble, hopeful
and make my mom and dad wherever they are
proud we all took the leap of faith!